Well well well – where the hell do I begin. Jess did such a good job of updating everyone. Absolutely no humor but yes the facts were good to get published. As Jess is barking at me to get my entry in, well here I go!
I think the reality is we have this to deal with. We can be mad, sad, run the multitude of emotions and it doesn’t change the planet. We must find a way to handle this.
None of this changes what we have. Our four kids, our home, our bills, our plans. They still exist. I personally have wondered why we met. How could I be so lucky. I now know all the crap that happened to me was for one reason. I was sent to take care of this woman and her kids. It’s what God has meant for me and I don’t much care for this religious crap. But I do believe in Him and I believe he wants me to take care of my kids and my new family.
I have freaked out more than she has. Jess is the rock, and I would say I am the anchor. I have always controlled my universe. I control what I earn, controlled Jess (omg that’s awesome!), I can usually handle and fix any situation worth fixing. This – I can’t fix. It’s not mine to fix. It’s awful for her and I feel like I am letting her down when I can’t help the one woman who has been a dream. So supportive. So caring. She doesn’t deserve this.
Yes, Jess shaved her head last night. I shave my head each week and it doesn’t get this much attention. Such crap. For the record, I think she looks adorable with no hair. I could care less what she looks like. If she is here to be a pain in my ass, I am good with it. Funny how I told her she had a nice head. Very few people can get away with being bald. Ugly shaped head, other factors. Not many can pull it off. She looks cute. I also thought I had a great head to be bald until she spewed out “you have a pointy head”. I was like “wtf, bitch!”
We went to Nellos tonight and Market Basket. Nellos is actually the place where we met. Almost a year ago. Everyone there was so sweet and kind.
Her buddy Megan sat with us. Thought she would ask how Jess was, how I am doing. Well of course we had to hear about her and all her dates and boyfriends. I almost threw up. Ok. So I’m completely joking. Megan is such a good kid. A good friend to Jess. I know Jess loved having her and all the Nellos folks wish her well. Maybe I’m dreaming but I think there were some women there checking me out. As its so close to our place, I may sneak out for a quick drink and see how that works out. Can’t keep the stud down!
Market Basket has become a funny place for me. I know every aisle, know the prices on most items and know “our list”. Jess did a great job. Came in, barked orders like a military general and I almost got one sweet Spanish woman to listen to me complain until she says “You a man, you always wrong”. Jesus. Not my night.
So I think that’s it for tonight. AAU hoop tryouts today and again tomorrow. Oddly, it was a tough few days for us but tonight was nice. We felt like a couple, went out, I got yelled at but she did tell me she loved me. Typical day. A normal day. I just pray we get more days and nights like this. Jess deserves it. No doubt about that.