November 2, 2013

Okay, it’s time for me to blog, although I have been avoiding it like the friggen plague.

Those fevers since my last Chemos never went away. I then became orthostatic and my heart rate was up to 126 and never went under 100. I ended up being admitted to the hospital. It was my first admit to a cancer floor. Its a controlled environment floor and nothing like a general medical floor. There’s a different something in the air. I was a cancer patient and a heart patient now. I ended up having a pericardial and pleural effusion. They were both small and viral. I had an EKG and Echocardiogram done to make sure my heart wasn’t weak and those were normal, except for the effusion. I then found out why I had really been admitted. My Breast Cancer is in my bones. I used to lay in bed at night and pray to myself “please don’t let it get in my bones.” I was perfectly fine where it was, I had accepted it and had the plan laid out and this was my life and I was okay with that. Well, at least I have an explanation for my pain. I’ve got 2 big tumors in my spine, one in the thoracic area and one in the lumbar area. I also have the entire right side of my sacrum infested with tumors.

Scott had slept in the hospital with me the night before but had left around 10:45 am to gather all 4 kids. My oncologist walked in at 11:15 am and shared this news with me, I was alone. She laid in the bed with me and hugged me and told me not to worry. “Now is not the time to worry.” It was the day before my oldest child was turning 5 years old. She had just hit me with the one thing I had been praying to not happen and she was telling me not to worry. She then told me that she was changing one of my Chemos. It was the one that I didn’t want her to change, I begged her to let me keep it, I told her I can handle the fevers and the side effects, I literally begged her. She, of course, said a big “No”. She could not just let me have a “fever” as a side effect, especially having a depleted immune system. Apparently, I just can’t handle the Taxotere. It’s a tough one and I can’t handle it and I am pissed.

So, this where I am at. Stage 4 Breast Cancer that has metastasized to my Liver and my Bones. I now have Chemotherapy infusions once a week, every Monday. Now that I am on a milder chemo, I am told that I shouldn’t have many side effects.

On the other side, we had a great Wednesday forward. Hannah turned 5 and had such a wonderful birthday with her friends and family. Scott is going to update everyone on all of this tomorrow 🙂

7 thoughts on “November 2, 2013

  1. Oh Jess, this news breaks my heart to hear. You’re working so hard and keeping such a positive attitude and then BOOM! Another challenge from that asshole cancer. Be strong and I am wishing with everything I have for medicine to hurry up and catch up to this stupid disease!!!

  2. I am on my way to church. I am going to put your name on the prayer list. I have done it in the past for so many of my friends and family and prayers have been answered. Let God keep up the fight for you. He works within all of us. I know he is working in you right now. You are amazing! You are needed here for your girls, for Scott, for us. I don’t even know you and I never met Scott but I know who he is. My heat breaks for you. I wish I had a magic wand. You are going to beat this. With your positive attitude nothing is going to happen. I am leaving now for Church and I already started praying for you. The prayer chain will be starting approximately around 8:30. You should feel the vibes…God bless and keep up the fight. Maria Wheeler

  3. 😥 I just don’t know what to write , what tammy said is perfect and I’m glad you’re on Maria’s prayer list… Anything people can do to help … You are already doing everything you can to stay healthy, I’m sure your new chemo regimen will make some difference in how you feel so that you can KEEP ON FIGHTING! I wish there was something I could do, but being out in Ashburnham doesn’t lend to being useful, just know I think about you so much and I am glad to read your updates- except when they give stinky news! Glad your daughters birthday and Halloween were a success. Keep hanging in there! Xxxxooooo

    • Just looked up some stuff about what you wrote and saw that many people can do really well for a long period of time… I will stop looking bc I like that answer, and I’m sure your brilliant doctors are doing all they can! Hugs!!!

  4. Hey there Jess. Just catching up on your blog and now I’m catching my breath. What a journey. I’m so sorry to hear the news about the cancer’s spread to your bones. Yet, it’s still so encouraging to read about your fight, your positive attitude and the joyful support system surrounding you. You’ve got a mountain to climb but you’ve got the spirit and team you need to get to the top–even if they have to push you there in a shopping cart. 🙂 Hugs.

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