Saturday, March 8, 2014 – Scott K Leip

It’s a Saturday, early afternoon, and as I wake from my afternoon nap, I just read Jess’ blog entry. She is so smart, knows how all this medical stuff works. Here are my thoughts.

The brain scan was negative!!! Can I get an amen!!! This is just friggen huge. It has been a monster worry for Jess (and all of us) since the beginning. I knew it would come back negative. Just huge.

Yes, the rest of the tumors and cancer stayed the same. It isn’t the best news but she isn’t getting worse. This is such a marathon. I equate it to all my coaching. You don’t win games on one possession. Just got to grind it out with this opponent. We have great people working on her, focus, a positive attitude and so much love. She will win this battle.

As I tell Jess all the time, winning this isn’t being “cancer free”. They told her she has a 15% chance to live 5 years. F That! You will watch the girls get old. You will be next to me for 30 plus years. We can be happy with cancer. We can live a great life together where we give our kids and ourselves a great life. So we have to go to the hospital once a week or every three weeks? I see it as more time we get to spend together. Lemons into lemonade.

Now for part 2 – We got married!

Well of course I married her! I know I’m not that bright but I’m as smart as it gets on the things I have to get right. Took her right off the market. Boom!

The second time around for both of us. It is true you get wiser with age. I hope! For myself I see so many things differently now. What I want, what I need. Amazing how Jess fell into my life. How everything for me has come together. It’s her. All her. I know it. She has made me a better man. There are two things I say make a GREAT woman. She is a great Mom and she makes the people around her (especially her husband) better. That’s Jess. She is sweet, she can cook, she is hard working. Details for me. She is the perfect mother and the perfect wife. Rest is crap. I’ve hit the lottery!

And trust me. I’m awesome. Just ask me. No one works harder, cares more. I’ve spent a life caring for my kids and others. This marriage was for me. I deserve to be happy and at 43, I know sad and happy. Having Jess as my life partner, just pure happy! If I hit the lottery, she hit the Powerball. Omg that’s funny. Ha!

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has helped us. Everyone. I’m so proud to say the list is way too long to be detailed here. So amazing how much help we have received.

On our wedding day we had two of Jess’ friends come down to enjoy the ceremony with us. Emily and Sarah, Jess’ right hand women! They’ve all been friends for like 30 years or some craziness like that. I spend 2 years with someone and I get sick of them. Ha. They are always so good to Jess. Probably just wanted to see if Jess would go trough with it!!

My man Steve Black got called the day before. I really wasn’t gonna have anyone come down. I didn’t need anyone. Like I said. This was for me. Jess said call Steve. She knows. He was and has been my rock. Quick to tell me when I’m an idiot and quick to tell me when I’m right. Just a true friend. Of course he came. That’s what people who get it. Steve gets it. I would have invited his wife Barbara. She is a big time attorney so I was worried she would come and then bill me for her time! (Oh I’m gonna pay for that one!)

We had the ceremony at Connect Church. Ah the Frye Family! Do you know them? If you don’t, get them into your life. I don’t care if you’re Catholic, Jewish, or whatever other crazy group you belong to, get some time with them. Just great people. Solid, simple and a completely genuine. Just my kind of people. I have known them forever. They reached out to me when I got separated, they reached out to me when they heard of Jess and her condition. They just reach out and let you know they are there. I’m not a church goer. I’m too busy for that. Got hoops and nothing gets in the way of my hoops baby!! But when I needed to marry my girl, it was a no brainer. Begged Frye to make some time for us. Of course he did and even his beautiful wife Stacey took an hour out of running her awesome school to share the moment with us. It really was perfect. I give Pastor Frye a lot of grief. Too much time in the weight room, too much time in church but there are very few people I admire and respect more. Just a dream man!!

I want it noted that I behaved myself. Didn’t make any jokes or try to be too funny during the ceremony. See I find humor in everything. I think most things are funny or should be enjoyed. I wanted Jess to know this was so important to me. There was nothing funny about giving your life to someone like Jess. She deserves the best. Now I can be funny (and a complete pain in her ass) for the next 40-50 years.

Not sure what else to post. We have four kids, marriage, a move to a bigger place in April, craziness each and every day. It’s the perfect life.

We wake up every day smiling and happy. Our kids laugh and smile. Jess too. For me, that’s perfection. The pain, the cancer, the drama – just part of the equation too.

We are all a true family now, got the paper on file with the state to prove it.

Loves,

The Leip Family!!

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Wow, where do I start?  So, scanned on Tuesday, married on Wednesday. 

My brain MRI came back negative, no evidence of any metastatic disease.  This is great news.  I dont have any neurological symptoms but my oncologist is pretty adamant about covering all the bases.  My liver scan was a big disappointment for me, although it could be a lot worse.  A LOT worse.  The chemo that I was on basically stopped working to fight the tumors and was poisoning my bone marrow.  The liver tumors have not increased but they have not decreased either.  Quite a few emotions come with these results and it also makes it a little harder to stay focused on the positive.  I also have some new swollen lymph nodes in the groin area that are questionable although we have no idea what they are.  The doctors tell me that breast cancer does not spread to that area but other cancers do, it could also just be nothing, but they are there and big and painful.  My bones were not scanned this time, it was too early so that scan comes in two months from now.  So, the plan is to stop the heavy chemo for now because my body needs a break and there was no increase in the tumors.  I will still go every 3 weeks, starting the 17th, and get the  2 “maintenance” chemo drugs (Herceptin and Perjeta).  I need these for the rest of my life but they are not toxic and my hair will start to grow back and my nails will grow back.  I will be scanned every 2 months and we go from there.  As soon as there is any change in my condition, I will start a different heavy chemo attack and hopefully kill these effing tumors.  Got no time in my life for this crap.  As far as the new lymph nodes, I will be having them biopsied next week so fingers crossed that it is just fluid and not another set back. 

NEXT SUBJECT: WE GOT MARRIED MARCH 5!

Scott gave me a 48hr notice, got me a beautiful simple dress and a pair of blue shoes and even picked out the rings all by himself.  Linda Grady made me a beautiful bouquet.  Lee Chamberlain let me borrow her pearls from when she was a child.  Sarah Gillis, Emily Hescock and Stephen Black were all kind enough to be our witnesses and all the beautiful photos were taken by Sarah.  We didn’t tell anyone until afterwards, not even our children!  We both woke up Wednesday morning, got the kids off to school, business as usual.  I put my dress and wig on, Scott put a suit on and we took separate cars and met at the church (so romantic) at 11am.  Pastor Frye married us and it was perfect! His wife, Stacy, was also there to witness and pray for us. After our “ceremony”, Scott had a meeting, I had to pick Hannah up at school at 12:15.  I showed up at her school in my dress and she gave me a look and said “Mommy, you kept it a secret! You and Scott got married!” 

I love my new husband and family so much and I am so lucky and so blessed to have what I have in this life.  I love my life, no room for negativity.  Yes, I have stage IV breast cancer and my life is a battle every single day but my life and my heart are filled with so much love and happiness that I can’t possibly let my illness get in the way.  I am so grateful for all the love and support because it absolutely makes the tough days easier.  My family and I can’t express our thanks enough. 

Stay tuned for Scotts post…always way more fun than mine.

Much love and thanks!!! xoxoxoxo