Saturday May 10, 2014

ok, peeps, it’s the eve of Mother’s Day.  Mother’s Day for the most part has always been emotional for me and the people who know me, know why.  It’s not necessarily negative emotions either.  I’ve come to realize a lot in my almost 38 years here.  I was fortunate enough to grow up with lots of “moms”.  I have a Mother and a step-Mother.  I was practically raised by my grandmother and my aunts.  I even got to know my great-grandmothers when I was young.  Very fortunate and blessed in that regard.  As some of those women in my life have passed, I have fond memories of them and some of my quirks are because of them.  All of those mother figures are part of who I am today and I am happy with who I am today.  Cancer is not part of who I am, Cancer can suck it.

As I think of memories of my Grandmother, I always smile.  Although she is no longer here and cancer took her at a young age, I am so thankful that I had her in my life.  Every single day of my life I think about her and the morals that she instilled in me (which got away from me for awhile), I pray that I pass this on to my girls.  One of my biggest fears is that my kids will not have a lot of memories of and with me because they didn’t have enough time with me.   When I was told an estimated number of years that I have left, based on statistics, the first thing I did was do the math.  Ok, that means my youngest child would be 6 or 7, maybe 8???  That’s not fair.  How is that fair that MY kids get the shaft on the time that they have to make memories with their mother? Well, plain and simple, it’s not and I have no control over that fact.  But, I absolutely have control over today and what I do with them today and how I hope it will impact them on the future.  I hope they take the good stuff and internalize it.  I hope my two daughters know that we will always be a reflection of each other.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the deserving Moms out there! I hope your heart is filled with love and appreciation!

xoxo, Jessica

One thought on “Saturday May 10, 2014

  1. Jess your girls are more fortunate than some..Some girls have mom’s who would rather be out on dates or drugs or whatever. .your girls will always know mommy loved them more than anything and fought with all she had to give them the best…God bless you Jess..

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