As painful as this was for me to do, I did it. I pray it helps someone, then I have done my job.
Ok, so this October has been much different than last year for sure! Last year, I was sooo sick! Bald and pretty much looked like the poster child for cancer and chemotherapy. I was still in a fog about what I was actually going through. I never realized breast cancer awareness was EVERYWHERE. Honestly, I hate to admit that I never realized it before. I see pink awareness ribbons everywhere and I love it. I belong to a few support groups for people living with Stage IV Breast Cancer and I have actually had to back out of a few because of the negativity. A lot of Stage IV survivors are angry towards PinkTober and where the money goes that is being raised with all the pink ribbons and everyone painting things pink. I personally think it’s great, while I admit I have learned a lot about awareness campaigns and percentages of monies that actually go towards research are sometimes sketchy. Any kind of awareness that gets people to be proactive about this is wonderful. A cure would be phenomenal. Cancer is no joke, it is not just about breast cancer. Cancer affects so many of us where at this point I think most people know someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. I wish I could make it stop. If this is so bad right now, I pray that research is being funded and heading in the right direction because I hate to think of what my kids worlds will be like when they get to adulthood.
I read a script that is going to be edited and collaborated with other people living with Stage IV breast cancer and then it will go viral and used for an awareness campaign. Its not pretty and it was really hard for me to read. I didn’t memorize it and when it was recorded it was pretty much the first time I had really read it. It’s just me, plain and simple reading some powerful words about my reality. It creeps me out a little but I am going to share it.
I know I know – it’s been forever since I’ve posted. No real excuse, I am supposed to post but I have been so busy. If I am being nice, I say sorry – most days, I would probably tell you all to bite me! Ha
Fall is a circus for me. Yes, all year is always crazy for me. Family, work, hoops, I really don’t get down time but the fall I do the most amount of my coaching so it’s just tough to me to get to these details. So for that, I apologize.
I will start with the recent. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Like I need that! Ha. Of course I’m always fine with talking about boobs, I am amazed at how many folks go out of their way to bring awareness to this great cause. My reality is, I live with, am married to and am madly in love with a woman who has Stage 4 Breast Cancer. You never get used to that phrase. I admit, it rocks me to my core at times. See I’m the guy and I run my home. I let Jess be the boss but it’s my job to make sure Jess, Justin, Courtney, Hannah and Izzy are safe and sound. Every day. I love my job. Love my crew.
But I know I don’t get to save Jess. We ALL know I will go before her, which is poetic justice in some way, but as someone who has spent a life “fixing” things and helping out so many folks, this isn’t mine to fix. So I do what isn’t natural for me. I listen and be supportive. I sit and be quiet at doctors meetings, offering a funny line here and there, but in the end, I’m just a cheerleader. For my girl, I would be anything. I have come to love being by her side in all this craziness. I’ve never met anyone as pure and sweet as my Jess. Why Hannah doesn’t really amaze me. She is just like Jess. Just so good at the core. Why I’m curious where Izzy came from. Chick is a problem. Plain and simple. Yes. I love her like my own but she is more bossy than any other woman I’ve ever met.
Speaking of the kids. They are all doing so well. Izzy loves school. Smart as a whip. She is supposed to get out each day at noon but loves to extend until 3pm each day. She has a way about her. Always so comfortable. In control. Kid amazes me. And for the record the only one in my crew who gets up at 6am to help me with the damn dog and all the morning things I’ve got to get done.
Hannah is off and running with Kindergarten and will be on every All Academic squad when she gets older. Kid just gets it. Jess had a post on Facebook taking about how “picky” she is with other people. She makes me laugh so much on how she corrects everyone. She has even been going off in soccer lately. Three goals in two games. It’s a funny dynamic with Jess telling the girls to have fun and I’m like “the heck with fun, run the other kids over and score 20 goals a game”. Needless to say, those are the times Jess may not be so happy with her life choices.
My Courtney is on top of her game as well. My little princess is killing in school, just made the 7th grade travel hoops team and always had a full time job barking at her father! Yeah – way too many women in my life. I have an entire week coming up with her. I’m so jacked for her to piss me off for 5 straight days.
Justin is off to a great start too. Focused on school, loves boarding and getting to know the St. Andrew’s community. I loved it when he texted me the other day “absolutely the perfect move”! I have to admit, I miss him so much. I’m so proud of him and happy he loves it but not seeing either of my kids daily drives me mental some times. But they are happy so it’s all good.
Jess and I celebrated our two year anniversary in September. Not two years of marriage but two years of being committed to each other. For those that know me. That’s way more important than anything.
I’ve come to appreciate the real loyalty and commitment couples have to each other. Love seeing Facebook and the folks who have spent 40-50 years together. Jess and I will be 90 plus when we celebrate 50 years together. I will be throwing a huge bash then!
I think that’s all I have for now. I hope everyone out there is doing well. The Leip clan sends our best wishes to everyone.